Alison sent me a message early in the morning on Friday the 15th to say that she was feeling a little peculiar. This was a reasonably frequent observation so we remained cautiously hopeful that this would progress to the next step. By the afternoon I received another SMS to say that things had fizzled, and so we set ourselves up for another weekend of waiting impatiently. By 12:30AM on Saturday Alison continued to experience occasional cramps and pains, though nothing resembling what we were told in classes or had read in the literature. Calling the hospital at the time got us stern dismissal that the symptoms resembled actual labour, and Alison was effectively told to go back to sleep and set in for a few days of feeling rotten.
Waking up with less than an hour of sleep on Saturday morning, Alison was still feeling cramps and now had waves of nausea to deal with. Sleep deprived and worried, we tried to pass the time by watching TV and keeping her mind off the discomfort. At least until 11:00 that morning where we called the hospital again to check in. Once again the nurse at the other end felt that the description didn't really fit the traditional signs of labour, but they were concerned that the baby wasn't moving as much as they would have expected so we were asked to come in to the assessment unit.
Packing the trunk and driving in was a pretty subdued affair as we were both convinced that the midwives would just tell us to turn around and come back home. All that we were hoping for was a little something to help Alison deal with the nausea, even planning a trip to the grocery store to pick up some ice blocks on the way home. Imagine our surprise when we heard an audible pop during the assessment, followed by the midwife telling us, "Oh honey, you're definitely in labour". Seven centimeters dilated in fact, so it was a good thing we came in as we were mere hours away from meeting our daughter.
First thing we asked for after the obstetrician arrived at the scene was to get Alison the epidural. All the different coping techniques, positions and equipment we learned about in antenatal class went out the window as it soon became pretty obvious that something was distressing the baby and getting her out fast became a priority. With each contraction the baby's heartbeat would drop from 150 down to 110, even lower as the labour progressed, and as low as 60 BPM at one point. After a handful of pushes with vacuum assistance it became pretty clear why; the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. It caused my own heart to stop momentarily, but our obstetrician calmly clamped the cord and cut it before pulling the baby out.
The midwives rushed the baby over to the pediatrician, who was standing by to clean the baby and her airways of the meconium in the water. Seconds later we heard the first of many healthy cries from our baby girl. I nervously shuffled over to perform a ceremonial cut of the remaining cord and meet my beautiful daughter. I'm comfortable enough to admit that there were a few tears in the room at the time.
Once the doctor was happy, they brought the baby back to Alison for us to be together. After appreciating the wonder that had just joined our family we whispered her full name softly into her ear; Eleanor Madge Ying Yuen Chua. She was born at 2:42PM on the 16th of April 2011 and entered the world in a Lilliputian frame, weighing merely 2.96KG, with a height of 49cm and a head circumference of 34cm.
We have found it challenging coming up with an English name that matched well with Chua but using my mum's name (Ilona) as inspiration we were both very happy with Eleanor. The origin seems to be a little vague but I think the ambiguity lends a certain depth to it. With the Greek interpretation (a variant of Helen), Eleanor means "Compassion" which I would think she fits; while the German word "ali" means foreign. Madge was Alison's paternal grandmother, a very strong and funky woman who I sadly never got to meet. We are both thrilled to give our girl names from such wonderful women in our lives.
It's important to us for Eleanor to have a Chinese name that was more than an afterthought. Alison and I asked mum to help us with this and she has come back with a name that perfectly matches the sentiment we were aiming for; Ying Yuen (英雲). As with most Chinese to English translations, the precise meaning is up to interpretation and context. Ying can mean "beautiful” or "brave", while Yuen (also romanized as Yun) means "cloud". I also like that the character for Ying is used to mean English (英国), quite appropriate we think for a child of mixed heritage to be brought up in a "Western" country.
The grandparents are obviously excited about the first grandchild on both sides of the family. John and Sheena even raced down when they heard that Alison and I were in hospital, arriving in the birth suite just half an hour after Eleanor was born. It would have been nice to have mum there too but we're trying to involve her as much as possible through a stream of photos and short video clips for her to see. At least she will be here on the 6th of May and Uncle Wing to follow shortly.
We had received a bunch of visitors at the hospital as well and little Nell (nickname is still in flux) has been showered with a heap of lovely gifts. It's fantastic to share her with friends and family and has been a highlight in the last week of sleepless nights. That and putting her in silly poses and hats to take photos for our entertainment of course. I call this the downward facing dog.
The three of us were originally supposed to be discharged from the hospital on Wednesday, but opted to stay another day to ensure that we felt fully prepared to take a little person home to look after. The staff at the Mater Mothers Private, particularly on our floor 11, were absolute angels. We needed a lot of help in the first few nights trying to figure things out, which wasn't helped by Eleanor being jaundiced for the first two days either. There was a lot of information to take in and process and as new parents we had to make quite a few decisions that necessitated long debates between Alison and myself, just because that's the sort of people we are. Not the best practice when tired and frustrated at 2 in the morning. Through all the options we tried, the midwives and consultants at the Mater were nothing but supportive and we could not have made it through the first few days with our sanity intact if it weren't for them. Especially stuck in a small room for five days, even if the food was pretty good.
On the subject of food, it was nice for Alison to finally satisfy the sushi craving she's been fighting for the past nine months. There was a sushi train not far from the hospital so I picked up a few pieces of nigiri to wolf down as a midnight snack. They do say that eating food you love is a great way to produce oxytocin and helps with breastfeeding so I just like to be able to do my bit.
Of course we have been getting loads of help from our own parents, aunts and uncles. Sheena was down for the first night that we got home on Thursday to help with cooking and cleaning and it will be nice to spend more time with the family over the Easter break. Strapping little Eleanor into a baby capsule was interesting but she seemed to enjoy it once she was in the car.
I always figured this whole parenting caper was going to be a challenge, but can see how so many fathers have been telling me that one can only understand what it's like when they actually have their first child. In addition to all the support we have received it's also good to know that we will be going on this journey together with other family as James and Dora will be proud parents of a baby boy in July. What a year this will be for the family.
No doubt we're only on the tip of the iceberg at the moment and there will be many frustrating moments to come. At the end of the day we look at her face after spending three hours trying to settle her screaming and think it's all worth it. Love you lots munchkin, just be patient with your mum and dad while they're learning.
Oh, and it only took about seven hours to complete this post intermittently. Alison is now nursing the baby to give me a chance to finish this off. Something tells me that big blog posts won't be a big feature over the next few weeks, even if I want to.
