Three Decades and a Full Moon

Not totally shocking, four weeks of parental leave have just flown by in a blink of an eye. I now face going back into the office on Monday, but at least I get to finish things off with a lovely birthday celebration with the family.

We originally had thought to turn my 30th into a big event with loads of friends and a big party at home. Reality of life with a one month old and the realization that I don't really have many friends to begin with meant that we ended up dialing things down a bit, opting for a quiet day by ourselves. After a breakfast treat of pancakes with bacon cooked by my darling wife, we decided to drive out with mum and Uncle Wing to Cleveland for fish and chips by the water. The food there wasn't spectacular and the weather was a little windier than we had hoped but we had a great time anyway.



In lieu if a birthday cake, Alison picked up a selection of cupcakes from the cupcake parlour. Very tasty and colourful but I think we may have bought too many for the four of us. Eleanor passed on the sweets having drunk more than her share of milk beforehand.



For dinner we called Cam Ranh and booked a big table, to accommodate the baby capsule and an indulgent number of dishes, and gorged ourselves on seafood. There was the staple specialty tofu, grilled chicken, pork spare ribs, pipis in XO sauce and not one, but two plates of crab; one in chili sauce and another in ginger and shallot gravy. I think we all thought we would be packing quite a bit to take home but we somehow managed to consume all that food without too much effort, much to the surprise of the chef. The last time we had this much crab was with Tim and Christine and it was absolutely sublime, as were all the other dishes that night. Great eats.



I got some great swag for presents this year too. Nellie gave me a very thoughtful robe to keep me warm when I have to change her diaper at two in the morning. It's a stylish grey with monkeys on it so I'm all set when my invitation to the playboy mansion comes through. My darling wife bought me the perfect gift for a balding male teetering on the edge of a midlife crisis, 6 laps on a rally track learning to drift in a WRX. Hopefully I won't embarrass myself by crashing the car.

Got a bunch of other great presents too, but of course the best gift is having the family here together. It has been really nice to have Nellie's Ahkong and Amma here to spend time with her. It's hard for them to find the time to come over here so having them both with our little girl is really great.



In addition to spending time with the baby, showing Wing the features of Brisbane was another key part of his trip. He's been here before for business trips but would usually be whisked to the Gold Coast or stuck in stuffy hotels, so it's not surprising that his impression of our city has not been overly positive. Knowing what he likes we focussed on the food markets at Rocklea and shops at Sunnybank to prove that you can get great produce for the dishes he enjoys. He seems to be very impressed by the quality and range of Asian food available and is even appreciating the meals beyond Chinese cuisine which is a pleasant surprise. In saying that I think his highlight was when we bought two salmon fish heads and fish bones from the Rocklea markets to cook fish curry and grilled the salmon heads on the BBQ. Oh so yummy.



On Sunday we had another little gathering which included John, Sheena and Barbara. We cooked a heap of steaks, prawns, sausages, chicken thighs and (something a little different) a bag of marinated chicken necks that Wing spotted at the butchers. Food and company were once again fantastic and I got to blow out my candles on a birthday cake this time. Even after stuffing my face silly I still managed to wolf down almost half a tray of creme caramel that my beautiful mother in law had made for me. I'm actually feeling a little ill from overeating now.



The other important occasion that we celebrated was Eleanor's full moon, as she is now one month old. Mum brought over the powdered dye to make red eggs for everyone to eat and we had given Eleanor a nice bath and dress her in new clothes before the arrival of her visitors, except she proceeded to soil that half an hour later. Even looking back at the first few pictures we took of her at the hospital it almost seems like a different girl. Back before she was born, I naively thought it would take a week for us to get a handle on things and establish a routine. Hasn't quite happened yet and I'm no longer holding my breath, but if the last four weeks is anything to go by I'm looking forward to discovering all the things I don't know about our little girl in the months to come.

Family Gatherings and Parenting

The past two weeks of have just flown by as we continue to take our first tentative steps on the path of parenthood. I think I made the point in the previous post that we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves without the help of friends and family, but it's worth noting again that we have truly been blessed by a wealth of assistance and advice from all our loved ones.

Last week was really special as the family in Toowoomba all came down to spend Anzac day with us at home. This was the first chance for Mary and Peter to meet their great granddaughter and I think Eleanor made a good first impression. It was a good excuse to break out the old camera and take lots of photos to mark the occasion.



Alison and I were forced to sit back and relax while the rest of the family dealt with food and assorted preparations. We may have protested a little at first but it was fantastic to put up our feet for a bit and talk while others cooed at the baby. Once the feast was ready to eat I got another opportunity to point out the benefits of purchasing the larger outdoor table to Alison. So much food but it was the company that made it a great meal.



The following weekend we took advantage of family hospitality once again by spending a few nights in Toowoomba with John and Sheena. I'm sure they enjoyed having Eleanor there to fuss over and show off to their friends and it was nice to have Aunts and Uncles pop in to visit. With the grandparents available to take care of the baby, Alison and I actually managed to get quite a few nights (and afternoons) of sleep so I think the dark bags under our eyes are starting to disappear.



It's funny how I've switched most of my internet time from researching gadgets and games to looking at prams and baby accessories. We had bought a bunch of stuff from a workmate of Alison's which included a pram and baby carrier. We found that neither of these were actually usable in our experience because they were too big; the pram because it wouldn't fit in the car and the carrier because Eleanor is just too small to fit in it. It was a little grating to have to buy replacements when we already had something available, but a quick trip to the store convinced us that the Baby Jogger City Mini was a must have. That easy one move folding action has been a life saver when packing up the car to head to the shops. Very impressed with the design of this stroller and I can see us packing it up for a trip back to Malaysia in the future.

The other huge success we've had today was with a new baby carrier. Little Nellie is very clingy and loves being held, and despite our best efforts to transition smoothly from cradle arms to the cot she often wakes up in a few minutes screaming for attention. After quite a bit of internet searching we found the Sleepy Wrap, which turned out to be one of the cheapest and yet versatile products on the market. The postman delivered it this afternoon and we can say that initial results are very positive. Nellie pretty much slept in it all afternoon and woke up in a great mood for a feed. The best bit is we went out on a walk with her and Alison had full use of her hands for hours without any worries.



The wrap theoretically handles up to 18KG of baby, and Nellie's weigh in at the Doctor's today marked her at 3.31KG so we have a ways to go yet. With the fabric spread over shoulders and waist it does seem to spread the weight very evenly so hopefully our backs won't give out before then.

Eleanor's Amma is going to be flying in tonight so we'll be heading to the airport soon to pick her up. She's no doubt very excited to see her granddaughter and her new iPad 2 which I spent the past two days setting up. No matter how much I love my technology I think it's pretty clear which one she's more eager to get her hands on.

Only have another week off work but I think we're finally getting the hang of this. Heck, we even managed to watch a whole movie yesterday afternoon (The King's Speech, which was excellent) and she slept right through it. In the next week we'll be celebrating a super Mother's Day, picking up Uncle Wing from the airport and there might even be a day set aside for me to grow a year older. By the end of it I might even be ready to return to the office, though I imagine that I'll miss my girls terribly.

Eleanor Madge Ying Yuen Chua

It's a little later than I expected, but I've started to compose this post typing slowly with one hand. You see, the other arm is currently occupied holding my one week old daughter. The week has been filled with more challenges and victories than I would have thought possible in such a short period; though one thing is certain, we're very happy to have our little girl with us in the world.

Alison sent me a message early in the morning on Friday the 15th to say that she was feeling a little peculiar. This was a reasonably frequent observation so we remained cautiously hopeful that this would progress to the next step. By the afternoon I received another SMS to say that things had fizzled, and so we set ourselves up for another weekend of waiting impatiently. By 12:30AM on Saturday Alison continued to experience occasional cramps and pains, though nothing resembling what we were told in classes or had read in the literature. Calling the hospital at the time got us stern dismissal that the symptoms resembled actual labour, and Alison was effectively told to go back to sleep and set in for a few days of feeling rotten.

Waking up with less than an hour of sleep on Saturday morning, Alison was still feeling cramps and now had waves of nausea to deal with. Sleep deprived and worried, we tried to pass the time by watching TV and keeping her mind off the discomfort. At least until 11:00 that morning where we called the hospital again to check in. Once again the nurse at the other end felt that the description didn't really fit the traditional signs of labour, but they were concerned that the baby wasn't moving as much as they would have expected so we were asked to come in to the assessment unit.

Packing the trunk and driving in was a pretty subdued affair as we were both convinced that the midwives would just tell us to turn around and come back home. All that we were hoping for was a little something to help Alison deal with the nausea, even planning a trip to the grocery store to pick up some ice blocks on the way home. Imagine our surprise when we heard an audible pop during the assessment, followed by the midwife telling us, "Oh honey, you're definitely in labour". Seven centimeters dilated in fact, so it was a good thing we came in as we were mere hours away from meeting our daughter.

First thing we asked for after the obstetrician arrived at the scene was to get Alison the epidural. All the different coping techniques, positions and equipment we learned about in antenatal class went out the window as it soon became pretty obvious that something was distressing the baby and getting her out fast became a priority. With each contraction the baby's heartbeat would drop from 150 down to 110, even lower as the labour progressed, and as low as 60 BPM at one point. After a handful of pushes with vacuum assistance it became pretty clear why; the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. It caused my own heart to stop momentarily, but our obstetrician calmly clamped the cord and cut it before pulling the baby out.

The midwives rushed the baby over to the pediatrician, who was standing by to clean the baby and her airways of the meconium in the water. Seconds later we heard the first of many healthy cries from our baby girl. I nervously shuffled over to perform a ceremonial cut of the remaining cord and meet my beautiful daughter. I'm comfortable enough to admit that there were a few tears in the room at the time.

Once the doctor was happy, they brought the baby back to Alison for us to be together. After appreciating the wonder that had just joined our family we whispered her full name softly into her ear; Eleanor Madge Ying Yuen Chua. She was born at 2:42PM on the 16th of April 2011 and entered the world in a Lilliputian frame, weighing merely 2.96KG, with a height of 49cm and a head circumference of 34cm.



We have found it challenging coming up with an English name that matched well with Chua but using my mum's name (Ilona) as inspiration we were both very happy with Eleanor. The origin seems to be a little vague but I think the ambiguity lends a certain depth to it. With the Greek interpretation (a variant of Helen), Eleanor means "Compassion" which I would think she fits; while the German word "ali" means foreign. Madge was Alison's paternal grandmother, a very strong and funky woman who I sadly never got to meet. We are both thrilled to give our girl names from such wonderful women in our lives.

It's important to us for Eleanor to have a Chinese name that was more than an afterthought. Alison and I asked mum to help us with this and she has come back with a name that perfectly matches the sentiment we were aiming for; Ying Yuen (英雲). As with most Chinese to English translations, the precise meaning is up to interpretation and context. Ying can mean "beautiful” or "brave", while Yuen (also romanized as Yun) means "cloud". I also like that the character for Ying is used to mean English (英国), quite appropriate we think for a child of mixed heritage to be brought up in a "Western" country.

The grandparents are obviously excited about the first grandchild on both sides of the family. John and Sheena even raced down when they heard that Alison and I were in hospital, arriving in the birth suite just half an hour after Eleanor was born. It would have been nice to have mum there too but we're trying to involve her as much as possible through a stream of photos and short video clips for her to see. At least she will be here on the 6th of May and Uncle Wing to follow shortly.

We had received a bunch of visitors at the hospital as well and little Nell (nickname is still in flux) has been showered with a heap of lovely gifts. It's fantastic to share her with friends and family and has been a highlight in the last week of sleepless nights. That and putting her in silly poses and hats to take photos for our entertainment of course. I call this the downward facing dog.



The three of us were originally supposed to be discharged from the hospital on Wednesday, but opted to stay another day to ensure that we felt fully prepared to take a little person home to look after. The staff at the Mater Mothers Private, particularly on our floor 11, were absolute angels. We needed a lot of help in the first few nights trying to figure things out, which wasn't helped by Eleanor being jaundiced for the first two days either. There was a lot of information to take in and process and as new parents we had to make quite a few decisions that necessitated long debates between Alison and myself, just because that's the sort of people we are. Not the best practice when tired and frustrated at 2 in the morning. Through all the options we tried, the midwives and consultants at the Mater were nothing but supportive and we could not have made it through the first few days with our sanity intact if it weren't for them. Especially stuck in a small room for five days, even if the food was pretty good.



On the subject of food, it was nice for Alison to finally satisfy the sushi craving she's been fighting for the past nine months. There was a sushi train not far from the hospital so I picked up a few pieces of nigiri to wolf down as a midnight snack. They do say that eating food you love is a great way to produce oxytocin and helps with breastfeeding so I just like to be able to do my bit.



Of course we have been getting loads of help from our own parents, aunts and uncles. Sheena was down for the first night that we got home on Thursday to help with cooking and cleaning and it will be nice to spend more time with the family over the Easter break. Strapping little Eleanor into a baby capsule was interesting but she seemed to enjoy it once she was in the car.



I always figured this whole parenting caper was going to be a challenge, but can see how so many fathers have been telling me that one can only understand what it's like when they actually have their first child. In addition to all the support we have received it's also good to know that we will be going on this journey together with other family as James and Dora will be proud parents of a baby boy in July. What a year this will be for the family.



No doubt we're only on the tip of the iceberg at the moment and there will be many frustrating moments to come. At the end of the day we look at her face after spending three hours trying to settle her screaming and think it's all worth it. Love you lots munchkin, just be patient with your mum and dad while they're learning.



Oh, and it only took about seven hours to complete this post intermittently. Alison is now nursing the baby to give me a chance to finish this off. Something tells me that big blog posts won't be a big feature over the next few weeks, even if I want to.